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Friday, February 15, 2013

Where would you be without friends?

Becky loves Maggie!

and we love Bar el Niño!
On the Wednesday morning, our "local" the lovely Bar el Niño opened again after their month long vacation. Living in the barrio (the neighborhood, literally) it makes the month of January slightly out of kilter, not having our watering hole to go to.... so our delight when they opened yesterday, to repainted, freshened up, blue chairs and tables was just wonderful...... having a coffee as per normal, with Joanna and Maggie, was also wonderful! Here are two women who in their individual ways, have adapted to small village Spanish life..... Joanna, who worked as a top notch art restorer on National Museum level in Norway, and Maggie who used to helm fund raisers for the high and mighty in Chicago, have both found a space, a place, to occupy and feel at home in, in the small village of Mijas..... it must be a very different life, a life I have only heard about in telling, which at the end of the day is not the same as having been there when it happened.

I have experienced, that this not knowing or having been there, in your friends "previous" life, can make for misunderstandings at time, as it is easy to forget, that these new friends, might have experiences that makes them better judges than myself on some issues.  It is worth thinking about and trying to find out more about those previous lives, in order to better understand where a person is coming from.
Even though it is a not very apt saying, the "never judge a book by it's cover" does in a way explain what I mean. For me, new friends, at the ripe old age of 50 ;o), are a gift! A wonderful parcel to open, and delight in..... finding common ground, hearing other opinions, discovering different view points. To that experience, I also feel, belongs often, some misunderstandings, some "not getting the point", this is part of a new friend though.
Perfect, does not make for more fun, it just makes for a bit boring, what's the point in friends who think and agree with everything you say?  It can be at times difficult to get past those bits, but it is possible, it takes a bit of being very adult, and thinking, "well, we are all a--es sometimes, we are all capable of the foot in the mouth disease", and just forgive.....

I have many times, in a life that has moved around a lot, thought of what it would be like to have retained your childhood friends, the comfort you must feel with someone who has known you all your life, or is there also a sense of boredom with that? I would not know, as I have not kept any of those childhood friends. So what I have, is trying to be as good a friend as I can be to people I admire and like a lot, try to apologize when called for, and try to listen when needed.... I am by no means an expert at this... boy, rather a very faulty amateur, but in my own rather akward way, I do try, and thank them, for being there for me..... to have a coffee with when I need it!


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