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Saturday, July 3, 2010

Real Life Problems and their Solution

a while back, when we were on holiday in Perth, we went to Guildford for the day, very cute town with a large amount of "antique" shops... filled with all kinds of fun stuff.... I found an old book, called very appropriately "Real Life Problems and their Solution" - who would not buy a book that promises you this?
So I thought to lighten your Sunday load, that I would give you a nice little tidbit from here, just in case you had problems you were wondering about, so here is one of my favourites:
HOW TO KNOW IF ONE IS LOVED
"Do you really love me?" This question is asked so often by some lovers that the repetition becomes almost mechanical, and can indeed cause considerable displeasure.This search for re assurance has two possible causes : either there is an underlying fear that the partner may be lost, or alternatively it is to minister to their vanity and pride. As for the first, with constant repetition the reassurance soon lacks its first significance. If the doubting lover could be quiet for a time this problem would solve itself. A hundred different things can tell far plainer than any words what place is held in the partner's heart. It should not take a courting couple long to find out if they are suited to each other. If the physical presence of each is the source of a constant sense of joy, that is an excellent start. The slightest repulsion of any sort which may arise is a fatal bar to complete happiness. A much surer test is the interest and willingness each displays in the effort to understand the other's character.
If, after several evenings spent together, John has given Mary a non-stop account of his life, family, friends, sports and prejudices,and has never paused to ask if she has parents living, or brothers and sisters, Mary may reasonably suspect that John's chief interest is in himself, and always will be. Joan has been walking out with Peter for a month and has never once inquired about his work, the books he reads or his ambitions, but has made him listen to an endless tirade against silly old Miss Chump at the office, or the beastly little clerk who thinks all the girls are ready to fall for him. Peter should know by this time that Joan's head is as empty of ideas as her heart is empty of any power to evoke and retain a deep affection. The willingness to be patient and attentive, to put one's personal likes aside and to show a real interest in the concerns of others - these are the signs that a lover has the power to make a marriage a success.
There is no such thing as a perfect lover, and he or she who spends a lifetime looking for one will die soured and disappointed. Furthermore, one may soon come to love the mate's weaknesses even more than his strength. But, at the same time, the strength must always be there and available in time of need.
there you go!...... are you a Mary... or a John ( met a couple of those in my time).... maybe a dud like Joan ( she should just be put out of her misery) or a saint like Peter ( a whole month of Miss Chump, seriously dude?)
I have had such fun... and yes, much of it is obvious, but still, if you can laugh whilst being reminded, then that's great!
Take care...have a good week ahead....... Mariann

2 comments:

  1. I'm so lucky that I am married to a nearly perfect person! And yes, you can come to love someone's faults (though I still wish he'd put his dirty plates in the dishwasher!!). One thing about being with someone who is special, is that it makes one want to be a better person too. I do try...
    Thanks for this interesting little snippet, Mariann. It made me think - and it made me grateful.

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  2. I am too Lizzie..... the book makes me laugh, but underneath all the oldfashioned language are some real truths!

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